Before you had children did you ever wonder what kind of parent you would be? Maybe you imagined you would be playful? Calm? The opposite of your own mother. And now you are a parent I wonder if you are surprised that it hasn’t really worked out like that. That your children drive you crazy? You love them but find it hard to like them? And sometimes you find yourself responding exactly like your own mother. You know what- this is all absolutely normal. Here at Future Living Hertford we really understand that parenting is the hardest job in the world. We are committed to working with parents in a supportive and non-judgemental way.
So, what can you do if you notice that you’re parenting in a way that no longer feels good? Well, firstly you can commend yourself for noticing. Noticing is the first step towards change, and often the hardest. And then see if you can slow down. Keep noticing (my colleagues and clients at Future Living Hertford know that I use the word ‘notice’ a lot!).
What do you see? Do you notice there are time of day when you are particularly shouty? Maybe there are particular words, sounds or sensations that send your child into a meltdown? Do you notice that when your child is upset? You try and hug them this makes things worse rather than better? Even though you read on a parenting blog that it is the ‘right’ thing to do? All of this is information for you. With a bit of information, a bit of slowing down, we can start to get to know ourselves and our children better. This can be the beginning of profound change.
Maybe you notice that you feel exhausted and unsupported. Here at Future Living Hertford we know that change can often be easier to sustain when we have support. That’s why we run regular Kids Kit parent workshops throughout the year. These are free to attend. They offer a space where you can meet other parents. Together you can explore tools such as collaborative problem solving. These tools can strengthen you to face the challenges of parenting. Together we can support you to be, perhaps not the parent you thought you would be, but the most magnificent version of the parent that you already are.
